Flipping someone off with your middle finger may be mankind’s single most efficient way of conveying emotion, these are our favorite 14 ways to do so. But first, a brief little history on giving the middle finger...
Human beings have been flipping off each other for centuries. When the gesture was used in Ancient Greece and Rome, the middle finger represented the penis, and the knuckles were stand-ins for balls. As years passed, middle-finger artists honed and perfected the craft, putting their own unique stamps on the gesture. – The Modern Man
And so, with our history lesson behind us, we countdown our favorite 14 Ways To Properly Tell Someone To Go Screw Yourself. Oh, and by the way; we are not responsible for any repercussions resulting from a genuine "Go-Fuck-Yourself"...
#01 – THE ROBOCOP
Universally obscene. Even if you did this to an alien who had just landed on earth 8 seconds ago and who possessed tentacles instead of hands and fingers, that alien would be all, “Hey, what’s your problem?!
#02 – THE RAMPART
More advanced than The RoboCop, it makes it clear that this is not your first middle-finger rodeo.
#03 – THE PHANTOM
A noncommittal flip-off is a sure sign of a rookie or a coward … or someone suffering from debilitating rheumatoid arthritis.
#04 – THE SIDEWINDER
Flipping the bird sideways shows people you don’t play by their rules, but you also run the risk of looking like you’re merely pointing badly.
#05 – THE BOHUNK
Grabbing your biceps is a high-risk, high-reward proposition. On one hand, it can drive home just how much you hate someone. On the other hand, you can look like you’re playing a street tough in a Broadway musical.
#06 – THE POCKET ROCKET
Especially devastating, since the victim will probably be expecting you to reach into your pocket and pull out a piece of candy or half-dollar or some other delightful gift.
#07 – THE DENNEHY
Am I doing what? No, of course not! Just itching my eye.
#08 – THE LIEUTENANT DAN
Sometimes there’s no specific person who’s getting on your nerves, so you need to flip off the very universe itself.
#09 – THE CRANK
Only a true master can pull off this complex maneuver around adults. However, pretty much anyone can use it to entertain pre-schoolers.
#10 – THE SOUTHPAW
Have you lost your right hand due to a horrific accident? Then surprise your enemies by flipping them off with your left hand.
#11 – THE BENDER
"Can you hear this? You want me to turn it up?” This move was immortalized in The Breakfast Club when Judd Nelson made the bold acting decision to combine it with the Rampart.
#12 – THE ANGRY DRACULA
Not only are you letting everyone know precisely how you feel (pissed), you’re also giving yourself a mini hug. There, now don’t you feel better?.
#13 – THE STRIKE
An extremely aggressive form of the middle finger, it’s a great way to escalate things real fast when you’re getting into it with some jackass at the bar (to the horror of your girlfriend who can’t believe you’re doing it again even after the two of you talked about it and you promised to watch your temper when you’re out drinking)
#14 – THE BUSTED TRUMPET
This one is strictly for laughs...
And that my friends, is how you properly flip-off an asshole; with one of our 14 Ways To Give Someone The Middle Finger. Happy fingering!
Again; we are not responsible for any repercussions resulting from a genuine "Go-Fuck-Yourself", so fuck off!